Outings

Recently, we went swimming at our friends Axel & Laura's condo's pool. They have a kiddie pool that was seriously the coolest-super short so little feet can still touch at certain points. :) Their twin girls are only 2 1/2 months younger than Jori, so that's the best-we can have two generations of buddies! :)

 The next morning, we got brave and hiked the Y for the first time as a family (and the first time since I was 8).

 Jori didn't love her carrier :S so half the time we just carried her in our arms. 

 She finally did fall asleep: like this. With her arms out like that. :) So funny

 We finally made it!!!

And Jori slept almost the whole way down, too. Sweet Sam carried her almost the entire walk down. That's my man!

Good times. :)

"Multiply and Replenish the Earth..." oi. A parenting...rant? /Brainstorm

You know, this is kind of embarrassing to admit. But I write it hoping it'll clear up some troubling thoughts in my head, to write them out.
For as long as I can remember, I've wanted a large family. I come from a family of six, so that's probably why whenever I pictured my own family someday growing up I pictured plenty of kids. But now that I have one, I just don't know if that's going to happen. And I feel really conflicted about it.
Maybe it's because my mom had three kids under the age of two at one point, and four under the age of four. I've always had tremendous respect for my mom for doing that, and tremendous respect for other mothers who somehow manage with a whole ton of tiny kiddos running around their place. And I always thought "That's going to be me." I always aspired to be one of those ladies-I thought they were so impressive.
It's funny, because I don't think (or if I do, I'm not aware of it) any less of women who have kids really far spaced out apart, or choose to keep their family smaller. But I think without meaning to, I've always kind of pictured the women who do have a ton/have kids real close together, as super incredible. Like only the strongest can do that, kind of?
I guess what it gets down to is a comparing thing. Because who doesn't want to be the 'best of the best,' in general? Everyone would like to be, of course they would. And even though having a ton of kids doesn't actually make you the best of the best, as far as parents go, it kind of seems like those ones must be to even be able to take care of and love that many kids without going nuts.
But I don't know if I can have a whole bushel of kids, after all.
I love my daughter with my whole heart. But I do not consider her to be an 'easy' baby. That's not really her fault-that's kind of my point: parenting is really hard, in my opinion. I'm not good at letting things roll off my back, I'm not good at not getting frustrated when Jori won't stop whining or throwing tantrums and I don't know why. I'm not even good at keeping her on her back long enough to put on a clean diaper. I'm not good at being confident that mommy knows best, because I don't think I do know best a lot of the time so I end up giving her mixed messages about things (like waking up in the night) and I make things worse that way.
Another thing: I am not one of those 'mommy does all childcare' moms. Part of that you can attribute to just having a good spouse, who doesn't have ridiculous ideas about 'the woman does all work in a home, because the man provides for her.' But part of that is because I demand the assistance, because I need it: I can't do it by myself.
Maybe that doesn't make sense, so let me give you a Sunday example: women who hold their babies the entire time in church. Women who are the only ones that take the baby out, when the baby is disrupting everybody. Women who manage to exercise, make yummy, nutritious home-cooked meals at least once a day, AND who do their hair and makeup beautifully all while taking care of the children. Women who feed their children, keeping the children calm, and also feed themselves without any difficulty.
Um? That's not me. yeesh.
Maybe I'm getting at two different points: my point is, I don't know how to think about only having two or  three kids and not be...disappointed about it, almost. Because I won't be living up to the expectations of a younger Ariel. And partly because I do still want a large family, but partly...I just may not have the potential it seems so many other women reach, even in me.
I just don't know how they do it. I don't really know how to do anything but take care of my baby, when in charge of the baby. And I don't even know what to do with her for half the day-what do the good parents do?
I've had different friends say that as soon as they gave birth, they honestly couldn't wait to get pregnant again. Partly so they could go through the pregnancy process all over again, but mainly just because they were so happy at having an addition they couldn't wait to have another one. And I don't know how to not feel guilty thinking about that, because Jori's almost one, and I still have no idea if I'm ready to have another one yet. I almost feel like the clock is ticking so I need to get a move on, that that's what good LDS parents do is to have another one close in age...but I can honestly say that if I had gotten pregnant when Jori was still really tiny, I would have been inconsolable for a good while.
I don't know why I'm talking about this-it's just been on my mind a ton lately. I don't know how many kids I'm going to have, and I haven't even made up my mind about how many I want to have. But I wish I felt like that was ok. Or really, I wish I knew what the perfect number of children for my family would be, that would be Sam and I reaching our best parenting potential but not over-doing it (because I do think if I had a whole whole ton of kids, I would be a worse off parent for it. Not that others are). And I wish I was better at parenting, and loving every day I get to be one. And I can't help but wish I for sure wanted to be pregnant again soon. Because I feel like I should feel that way. Even though I know that that's nonsense. Bah. um...that's all. Leave me your thoughts if you managed to read this whole thing.

I love summer

If you've ever asked me what my favorite season was, there's a good chance I might have told you any of the four actually. But over the past few years in particular I've really developed a love of summer. Summer! Last year especially, I could seriously feel the difference emotionally in the weather getting warmer and everything coming alive again. I particularly love the green everything-I love green grass, the green leaves on the trees-everything looking so fresh and alive boosts my mood. I miss Rexburg summers a lot-they were truly perfect weather-but in Provo even though it's a smidge on the 'too hot' side in my opinion, it's pretty great. Little-no humidity, the occasional (rare) rain storm...yes.

So I was all too delighted to get to start sharing my love with my little girl, now that she's old enough to do more. And when the sprinklers in our complex that water the grass behind our apartment were broken and wouldn't turn off, it seemed the perfect time to introduce Jori to one of summer's best activities: playing in water!

P.S. I hadn't been planning on this-we just went outside the front door, walked around to the back...and then we impulsively started playing in the water. That's why we're both fully clothed.  :)

Video mania

As you noticed (if you like checking on here to see if I've written anything new), I went a stretch without saying much. So here's a ton more of the videos from that time. Most aren't anything special, it just gives you a taste of who my little Jori is. These are the things I want to remember ten years from now.

Little wiggle of Jori's:


Jori having fun with the dryer sheets (you can also tell how I'm SUCH a great homemaker, keeping things spick and span in this one):


So, Sam and I went through our socks and were going to throw away all the ones that had holes in the heel or didn't have a match...but then I realized socks are on of Jori's favorite things. So now all those are in a bag in her room, always ready to be played with:


DVDs


Just some of the many noises Jori makes:


When Sam was trying to 're-install' the baby...I don't know what they're called, but the things on the cupboards to keep little hands from opening them, Jori wanted to help. She was a good little cheerleader, basically.

Poor baby :(

Jori woke up Wednesday morning at 2 A.M., crying. But because I'm the worst, and in-consistent, this time I decided "She's got to learn how to put herself back to sleep" and just left her there. She did manage to get herself back to sleep, but when she woke up at 4 I went in to feed her...and she was on fire!! My poor little girl. :(

At 6 in the morning we took her temperature and she was at 103.2. She was one miserable lassie the whole day-she wouldn't move around at all, just wanted to be held with her head against your chest and whimper.

I missed my first class but still had to go on campus to take a test, and had to at least meet for a group project for my second class, so I was away for about 3 hours. Let me tell you, one of the longest stretches of 3 hours of my life. Fortunately my group was very nice about it and so was my teacher (I showed up at the beginning to take a quiz, then explained the situation and left).

She still had a temp of 103 when we checked at 6:30 that night, which really concerned us. But I decided we should try to let her sleep, and if she couldn't sleep then we would take her to urgent care. Fortunately she was able to sleep, and woke up Thursday feeling a million times better.

But now I know: I hate having sick kids!!! Poor things. :(

Oh yuck

On Tuesday this week, I made a fatal mistake and somehow forgot I had taken Jori's wipes out of the diaper bag. Of course she pooped, and of course I was over at my parent's house so couldn't just go grab a back-up pack of wipes. Oi vey. I managed-we went to the bathroom, and I used toilet paper then threw it in the toilet. We used some wet toilet  paper to finish her off. It hadn't been that bad a diaper, compared to some things this baby's created-but I committed to never make the mistake again. 

....

And then later that same day, Jori and I had to go on campus to a group meeting with my professor for one of my classes. HOW did I forget to go home and swipe some wipes? I do not know. But we got there, in the professor's office, huffing and puffing since I forgot where the building was and had to cross the ENTIRE campus to get there, and what do I find? After a couple minutes of crawling, Jori practically bends in half, turns pink and lets out some grunts. 

Oh no. 

Yep. Jori decided she wasn't done with the #2 business for the day, so did it there. In my professor's office, in the LDS family services building. bah! 

So we had a repeat of the day's events-but in a public restroom this time, which made it that much more embarrassing. They had a baby changing thing but I couldn't use that, so we just had to go in the handicapped stall and do our best. 

On the bright side, at least I was resourceful right? And at least I hadn't forgotten DIAPERS, rather than wipes, right? Right. But still. Yuck.

A day in the life...

...of Jori! What does a little one do all day, you may wonder? Let me show you:

 Helps mommy and daddy with laundry-look at all those dryer sheets she made accessible for us!

 Does the dishes,

 Re-organizes the DVDs, 

 Helps with dinner,

 Leads the way,

and assists with all household projects! We sure are lucky to have such a great helper around. :)