That is SO Offensive...to Mothers of Young Ones (And Others a'Course)

I am, unfortunately, what you might call "thin-skinned." Overly-sensitive. And, unfortunately, easily offended. My poor husband.

But I'm coming to realize...maybe our culture is that way, too. Everyone always so eager to find reason to be offended. And, ironically, eager to point out the judgment that others MUST be bestowing, in their general direction.

And you know what? This is just, stupid. Silly. Dumb.

I think, for this post anyway, we need to do three things as a culture: stop pretending we're all exactly the same and we should be blind to any of our differences, stop being so positive others are judging us, and when they are...stop caring.

Have you ever stared at something that was out of the ordinary? Of course you have. Everyone has, and does. It's natural. It's also impolite, and better to stop yourself from making a big fuss about it, but to glance over a scene and not steady our eyes on the different thing would be...fighting instincts, really. I'm no neurologist but I think that's just how our brains work, we're going to notice what's different.

I don't think this is always wrong, either. If you see nine smiles, and then a face that's tear-streaked and shoulders that look weighed down with sorrow, it can evoke sympathy and compassion. If you are in charge of ten children (a classroom, maybe?) and eight are writing, but two are missing, noticing what's different can

prompt you to go searching and discover they're fighting in the halls. Who knows! It could prevent a broken nose. And if you see a mother pushing a double stroller with two other wee tots dragging behind, noticing that she may not be the same as all the others who were trying to walk through some doors ahead could cause you to run forward and open the door for her. (Which she would actually, very possibly, greatly appreciate.)

So, young mothers? When someone is staring at you because you're breastfeeding in public, (if they actually are because there's a fair chance it's all in your head,) stop being positive they're glaring. Maybe they're just staring because they don't realize they are yet, and will catch themselves in a moment and be super embarrassed. And you did just reveal your boob. Which most people don't do in public. It doesn't mean they're judging you, it just means they aren't blind.

Or, (also young mothers,) if people are staring at you at the grocery store when you have a screaming,
kicking toddler and a starting-to-cry-baby in the front of your grocery cart, stop being positive they're thinking "Wow, what an awful mother. And awful children." I bet there's a fair chance they're thinking, "Hang on, mama. You're doing a great job." or "I've so been there." or "I wish I could help somehow." They might even say "Looks like you got your hands full!" Which is my personal least favorite (and I once had it told to me three times in two minutes), but try to remember (if at all possible) they're just trying to relate and communicate to you somehow "Everything is going to be all right, this moment will end."

Also...stop being offended people notice you have kids. Maybe they like kids. You don't need to prove to them that you can do everything yourself--let them open the door for you. Let them pick up the library item you dropped. Let them give your wee one a sticker, when they need a distraction. (I had to ask a grocery store worker to stay with Jori in the entry of the store a month ago, because she wouldn't walk with me and I physically could not carry her while she was throwing a tantrum and Atticus at the same time to the car, and the worker didn't roll her eyes or anything, she instead offered to carry the baby so I could carry Jori. She just tried to make it easier for me. And did. Bless her.)

But when they are judging, folks? We have a few choices: decide they're jerks and think naughty words at them for the next five minutes (been there), recognize they might have a point and use it as motivation to do better next time (that does happen), or...give them a break. We're all learning, we're all growing. None of us are perfect, and pretty much all of us fight judgmental thoughts sometimes (in my opinion, anyway). Let them have this one.

Maybe they WERE thinking "Wow, that toddler is out of control. So loud, so annoying!" But just remember to yourself, "They're out of control because I didn't give in and buy them candy when they were misbehaving. I'm not doing anything wrong here. We can do hard things! I've got this!"

You have got this, ladies. So stop being sure everyone else is trying to tear you down or thinks you're doing an awful job, and hating them for it. I'll just share an experience I had one early morning: I went grocery shopping bright and early with my two little bobbins, and picked out donuts for them (and me) to keep their hands busy and our tummies from grumbling, in the hopes of preventing too many impulse buys. I had this ginormous car-cart that I almost always use now, and was having trouble staying out of the way of this one gentleman who worked for the store who was trying to move a whole ton of pallets from the back, across the store to the produce department, multiple times. I finally, embarrassingly, said "I'm sorry," thinking he probably was annoyed at me for getting in the way and thought I was a poor mother for giving my kiddos donuts, and to my surprise he said "Oh I think you're doing an awesome job! You're super mom!"

You got this, super moms.

(or super folks...sorry this one was so tailored towards mamas, it's kind of the circle I travel in these days.)

Poor baby :(

Jori woke up Wednesday morning at 2 A.M., crying. But because I'm the worst, and in-consistent, this time I decided "She's got to learn how to put herself back to sleep" and just left her there. She did manage to get herself back to sleep, but when she woke up at 4 I went in to feed her...and she was on fire!! My poor little girl. :(

At 6 in the morning we took her temperature and she was at 103.2. She was one miserable lassie the whole day-she wouldn't move around at all, just wanted to be held with her head against your chest and whimper.

I missed my first class but still had to go on campus to take a test, and had to at least meet for a group project for my second class, so I was away for about 3 hours. Let me tell you, one of the longest stretches of 3 hours of my life. Fortunately my group was very nice about it and so was my teacher (I showed up at the beginning to take a quiz, then explained the situation and left).

She still had a temp of 103 when we checked at 6:30 that night, which really concerned us. But I decided we should try to let her sleep, and if she couldn't sleep then we would take her to urgent care. Fortunately she was able to sleep, and woke up Thursday feeling a million times better.

But now I know: I hate having sick kids!!! Poor things. :(

Oh yuck

On Tuesday this week, I made a fatal mistake and somehow forgot I had taken Jori's wipes out of the diaper bag. Of course she pooped, and of course I was over at my parent's house so couldn't just go grab a back-up pack of wipes. Oi vey. I managed-we went to the bathroom, and I used toilet paper then threw it in the toilet. We used some wet toilet  paper to finish her off. It hadn't been that bad a diaper, compared to some things this baby's created-but I committed to never make the mistake again. 

....

And then later that same day, Jori and I had to go on campus to a group meeting with my professor for one of my classes. HOW did I forget to go home and swipe some wipes? I do not know. But we got there, in the professor's office, huffing and puffing since I forgot where the building was and had to cross the ENTIRE campus to get there, and what do I find? After a couple minutes of crawling, Jori practically bends in half, turns pink and lets out some grunts. 

Oh no. 

Yep. Jori decided she wasn't done with the #2 business for the day, so did it there. In my professor's office, in the LDS family services building. bah! 

So we had a repeat of the day's events-but in a public restroom this time, which made it that much more embarrassing. They had a baby changing thing but I couldn't use that, so we just had to go in the handicapped stall and do our best. 

On the bright side, at least I was resourceful right? And at least I hadn't forgotten DIAPERS, rather than wipes, right? Right. But still. Yuck.

Insomnia, Thy Name is Jori

Last night was the weirdest night we've had with Jori since she was a newborn.

It all started with skipping her afternoon nap. I wanted to show my sis-in-law Jandel this part of the Provo River Trail that Sam and I used to bike all the time, that leads to a little duck pond and a playground. Then Sam skipped his last class of the day, so he was available to come and I was even more eager to go. So when Jori wasn't taking to napping, I just said 'forget it' and got her out. I was thinking she'd probably fall asleep in the stroller on the outing.

Wrong. She skipped it completely, and was acting super tired by five o' clock when we left.

Too late at that point, right? That's what I figured. I thought we'd just put her to bed early-her bed time is at seven o' clock, so we just had to hold her off for like an hour and a little and then she could go down.

An hour and a half later she was acting real whiny, and I realized what time it was and was so proud of her for lasting that long! So Sam tromped upstairs and put her to bed. She cried for ten-ish minutes, then fell asleep. Pretty normal.

HERE'S where the weird stuff began:

6:50-7:20, Jori's asleep

7:20-7:35, Jori awake, crying. Frantically. You know those short little cries they do when they're real worked up, almost panicky? Like a whole ton of short ones in a row? Uh-uh-uh-uh-...I can't type it. Take my word for it-she was doing that. So...

7:35 I go up to get her, but I don't nurse her since Sam had given her a bottle less than an hour before. I bounce with her for about fifteen minutes, then take her downstairs so Sam can help me give her some ibuprofen. We were clueless, I'm telling ya. So then...

7:55, back in crib. Still crying, still really upset.

8:15 Sam goes in and gets her, and takes her outside for a minute (she seemed hot-we thought this could help). She calmed down as soon as he picked her up though, so he didn't spend much time outside since she thought they were off on another adventure and was she was looking around like there were pirates or something.

8:20-8:30 Sam holds her till she falls asleep in his arms. He puts her down, HOLD YOUR BREATH...she wakes up. arg!!

8:30-8:47 Jori cries while Sam works on homework and mommy finishes the mountain of dishes she's been procrastinating.

8:47 Mommy goes upstairs and decides to nurse her after all: doesn't work, she's still awake. Super cute though, talking gently to herself afterward. So a new tactic is tried: taking Jori to bed with her. Jori does not sleep in our bed though, like ever, since she was much tinier and would nap on my chest while I laid in bed. So it's not like this is a common occurance-she's NEVER slept in bed with us at night; but we're willing to try anything at this point to get this poor creature to sleep. She doesn't like being on my chest this time but after I just hold her next to me, she snuggles in, talks gently and then falls asleep.

**Side note: Apparently, all of us Christensen children sleep like our dad does, with our arms high above us. Total exposure for a tickle attack. All my brothers' wives say they sleep that way, Sam says I sleep that way, and I discovered last night Jori sleeps that way. Made me smile, I tell you what.

9:05? After being asleep for about ten minutes, Jori wakes up, fairly upset. So I take her downstairs for daddy to hold so I can actually get ready for bed this time, take out my contacts and whatnot, and then try again with her in bed with me. I take about ten minutes, come downstairs and this is what I find:

The happiest sleep deprived baby you ever did see. What the heck?! Jori just kept laughing and smiling HUGE, like that, for about twenty minutes. What can you do? We just laughed right along with her, and let her stay up with us while we watched soccer videos on youtube. Finally...

9:40, that's right NINE FORTY, we all go upstairs and I nurse Jori again, in bed with me. But she's not going for it and both of us think it'd be better if we put her back in her crib-we don't want to be forming any bad habits (more than we've already formed anyway), so I put her in her crib and...

she sees her stuffed pig, so reaches for it and snuggles into it. I put her blanket over her and expect to hear the crying within 20 seconds of me leaving the room, as is customary...but nope! Didn't hear a peep. She finally fell asleep.

SUPER weird night with the little one. Sam said he heard Jori crying at 11 and 4, but apparently I was too out of it so I didn't hear her myself until 5. But she seems no worse for wear this morning?? My cute little crazy babe.