Hello, beautiful

I just realized I stopped taking pictures for like a month. Crap! All the "She's only this age once" stuff is going to be floating over my head now...

...to try to get rid of said floating cloud of guilt, I'll post the few I have taken over the past...I dunno. Month? Just while on the computer with her on my lap.

Love this picture. :D So cute.

Hahaha love this one too, cause she was smiling so weird.

I mean for her. She never smiles like that. Goofball. :)

This was just Sunday. See that shiny chin?

She drools so much now. I much prefer it to spit up I must say.

Try to think of something cuter than a yawning baby. You fail? Me too.

Oh, and also try to look at this without yawning. I failed. Twice.

I think faces like this one are why when she first popped out

the nurses said "Oh, look at those lips! Angelina Jolie lips!"

She's taken to sucking on her fingers a lot.

I love it, except when said fingers then make me all slobbery.

I love this little lady. See how she's holding my shirt? I love when she holds on to me like that. Makes me feel like a superhero or something, protecting this fair maiden.

In other news...

• I just finished my midterm. Huzzah! Time for bed-I hate going to bed late. But I also love blogs, and facebook. Snap...
• We may move again. Hahaha...Sam's not excited. Can you blame him? This would be our 5th place. I really like where we live currently actually, probably neighbor-wise better than any other place we've been, but living closer to campus and/or having a washer and dryer is calling out to me...we'll see.

Blessings

I think it's high time I counted my blessings on here. I am very blessed and I need to acknowledge it to remember it.

I have a great husband. I honestly felt like I fell in love with him so much more since we've had Jori, because he is also a great daddy. He works hard going to school, working at a job he doesn't like and then coming home and devoting himself to us. Sam's not perfect, but I often think he's a perfect match for me. I really lucked out.

My daughter is healthy. She's quite fussy still, but it is getting better. She has four fully functional limbs, she can hear and see great, she's gaining weight steadily, and as far as we know she has no mental disabilities. She's also always been a great eater (except for the rare times when she's so upset she'll arch even though she's hungry)-she's been able to take a bottle from a couple weeks old, and has been able to latch on well from Day 1. Or 2. Whenever we first tried.

I get enough sleep at night. Jori doesn't sleep through the night but at least usually, no matter how many times she wakes up she will at least go back to sleep. Oh, and Sam alternates with me too, which I very much appreciate.

I get money for going to school. Sheesh! What a blessing there!! With Pell Grants and 1/2 tuition, I actually get some money after the semester starts.

I live in the same city as my parents. I don't think we'll stay in Provo forever, but it sure has been nice having them around to help with Jori. I had no idea how much harder it would have been if they weren't around. But I can't imagine leaving Jori with many people-I worry too much they won't know how to calm her down (I mean I'm often guessing myself-how will they?). A teenage girl?? No way! But this way we have loving, experienced parents who don't complain about her crying at all-I couldn't ask for better.

I have a warm, comfortable, 2 bedroom apartment to live in with my husband and child. I have clothing, and we've even received tons of free clothing for Jori. I never have to worry about starvation. If I'm thirsty, I can just turn on a faucet and out water comes-I don't have to hike for miles to access it.

I live in a wonderful time for medicine-the best the world has seen up to this point. I have access to medicine that can help my child feel better, help her stomach problems not be as intense.

I live in America. I know there's plenty that's troubling about our country, but come on. This is a special place.

And how about the best one? I am a child of God. I have an older brother who was crucified because he loved me enough to suffer, bleed and die so that I could some day live with him and my Heavenly Father again. He's gone through everything I have, all the ups and downs not only of the past few months but all in my entire life. So if I am humble enough, even in my deepest despairs I can always remember "I am not alone. Christ DID experience this. And I can overcome it with His help." Not only that, but I am a member of His true church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Last time I did the statistic, I think it was like only one in 500 people on the earth are LDS. What a privilege to be one of them.

Sorry if this sounds braggy-that certainly wasn't what I was going for. I've just been pretty down in the dumps lately, and I thought I needed to step back and examine some things. And I have got it pretty good.

Some then-to-now pics

So, it's kind of crazy that Jori will be 3 months old in 5 days. Sheesh! I hadn't realized how much she'd changed till I was working on this photobook at shutterfly for her, and I went back and forth between a picture of her the week after she was born, and now. Such a big girl!!! So here's some of my favorites of her then, now and in-between: mainly because they're funny, or she looks ridiculously cute in them. Or both.

Mermaid

Pooping

No idea :D

Fatty at the duck pond

Speaking of fatty...haha

grumpy

Amazed at her beauty :)

You sly dog

Holy humongous flower. And adorable face!!!

Somebody call Baby Gap!!!

I also love this last one because she's in overalls. Cute!!!

do it yourself mania

So...I love the idea of being self-sustaining/self-sufficient. Mainly because I love feeling like I saved money (part of the reason I'm obsessed with KSL). Actually DOING all these things that I think are a great idea though, is a different story. Actually canning and coupon-collecting and sewing and crafting is a lot more work than my lazy self is usually willing to do.

BUT! I went a little crazy with the idea (only with the idea, I'm yet to actually make her one) of making Jori her own hair accessories, (along with a few other baby items), so I've found some fun how-tos that I thought I'd share.

The above AND below ribbon-flower tutorials are at: http://ribbonflowers.blogspot.com/

http://www.prudentbaby.com/2010/02/diy-fabric-flower-hair-clip.html
These silk ones (probably my second favorites) are found at http://allison-thriftycrafting.blogspot.com/2011/01/simple-flowers-and-mini-tutorial.html
These pom-pom-like ones are found at http://treyandlucy.blogspot.com/2010/12/pom-pom-headbands-and-clips.html
This kind at http://www.prudentbaby.com/2010/10/no-sew-rolled-fabric-flower-baby.html
These ones (I think they're my favorites) were found at: http://www.rufflesandstuff.com/2011/05/no-sew-fabric-flower-tutorial.html
This feather one (it had a mother/daughter matching tutorial, but you can do it only for baby) was found at http://www.prudentbaby.com/2009/12/new-years-fancy-feather-hair-clips.html
http://thefrugalgirls.com/2010/08/how-to-make-cute-flower-headbands-for-babies-and-little-girls.html
These are at http://domesticatingmichelle.wordpress.com/2011/06/22/ribbon-flower-tutorial/

This one's at http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2011/03/baby-hair-accessories-wool-felt.html
The above is at http://getyourcrafton.blogspot.com/2010/03/ribbon-flower-headband-tutorial.html

I also found how to make your own moby wrap (kinda) in a discussion found here: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/646577/making-my-own-moby-wrap

Here's a 'pattern' for a carseat canopy http://www.make-it-do.com/tag/car-seat-canopy-pattern/

And here's a pattern for the best swaddling blanket i know of, the miracle blanket http://www.flickr.com/photos/49911501@N05/sets/72157624537889292

What fun eh?!

And so school begins!

So we've been parents AND students for two weeks now. I decided to take 2 psych evening classes which are each just once a week, an Irish dance class just for funsies, and a social dance class on Friday nights for couples only (with Sam, of course). So I have 7 credits, and Sam has 14 and is working part time. Lucky for us, the only time when neither of us can watch Jori is when we have our dance class together (of course), and my parents watch her then. I'm really grateful: I didn't want to have to leave Jori with babysitters all the time, I'd rather it's Sam or I taking care of her the majority of the time. Well. Sort of.

Jori's fussiness...hmm. I don't know if it's getting better or not. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope most days, but I suppose I can't be even if I want to be. I tried going off of dairy but it didn't make much difference. We started giving her her medicine twice a day instead of once, but I don't know if it helps or not...but I think it does? Some. It just doesn't really solve the problem.

I guess to be honest, I wish I had a time machine and the Ariel of the future could come and tell me "Don't worry! Jori is a totally different baby at 4 months than at 2 months-she mainly only cries when there's an obvious reason, like being tired or hungry. And she's good at entertaining herself now, I promise." Fingers crossed.

Still, even though she cries a lot, there are delightful moments where she'll smile and coo and laugh for us that are a real treat. I can't even say enough how much I cherish those moments, since it feels like they're so infrequent (and I'm sure they're not-it's just hard to put things in perspective WHILE she's crying). Right this moment actually, she's hanging out on one of her favorite spots: her changing pad, chatting to her daddy and kicking. What a doll.

I told Dave (my missionary brother) this in a letter the other day: I kind of had a mini-revelation a couple of weeks ago. Jori was crying and crying while I was at my parents house alone doing laundry, and I was very frazzled. But I thought of that scripture in 1st Nephi thats something along the lines of "For the Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them to accomplish the thing which he hath commandeth them."

I've heard this several times before, but I also realized something in that statement. Perhaps others parents COULDN'T handle Jori. She came to us on purpose: it wasn't a chance thing that she became ours. The Lord knew exactly what He was doing. And He loves her even more than I do. He wouldn't have sent her to Sam and I if we weren't capable of being patient enough to love her the way she deserves-maybe some don't have the potential we do. But Jori is counting on us and Heavenly Father is, too. It was a humbling thought, and I've been grateful for it since.

Just so you know though, since I haven't had the guts or tact to address someone about this: please don't comment on how fussy Jori is, like "man I'm glad I don't have a baby like yours" or anything along those lines. It's discouraging: we're doing our best, and she doesn't mean to cry so much. Commenting on it doesn't do anyone any good, except perhaps amuse the comment-maker. Please don't. Ok? Ok. :)

Baby books and I...

...have a love/hate relationship.

When Jori was...like a week or two old, I scurried to the Provo City Library and checked out all these books on having a baby, how to care for babies, how to calm fussy ones, and how to get them to sleep. The books have included "On Becoming Babywise," "The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight," "What to Expect: the First Year," "The Baby Sleep Solution: A Proven Program to Teach Your Baby to Sleep Twelve Hours a Night," and "the Happiest Baby on the Block" (which I didn't read, but instead later checked out the DVD and watched it. I also have heard of and watched a few youtube videos about the 'Dunstan Baby Language,' which is claiming newborns basically have 5 words and we can learn to recognize them so we know what they need.

What has this made me?

FRUSTRATED!!

I read them and feel calm and knowledgable. Then I try to apply their concepts and get nowhere. Which could mean they just don't work, or I'm not doing them right.

arg.

Honest, I'd LIKE to have Jori on a real schedule. And I'd LOVE her to be able to sleep through the night. But I have no idea how to make it all work.

Maybe it's because she has acid reflux? I don't know.

Have I talked about that? We think she may have acid reflux, but aren't positive. We did get her on some medicine, but I'm not sure if it makes a difference. Here's why we think she may:

• she spits up A LOT
• she doesn't like being put down. This may be getting better though? because sometimes she'll let us for a little while, sometimes she won't. my days blend together so who knows.
• she often cries after eating-but not forever, I can usually calm her, so again who knows
• sometimes after she's been calm, she makes a noise like something's in her throat, then starts crying really loud
• she toots a lot. maybe that's nothing, but i think it could reflect tummy troubles.

the problem is, I may just be seeing what I want to see, ya know? It could be that she's just normal, but because she's my first and I find having a newborn to be very hard, I'm hoping she has acid reflux because that would mean there's a cause for it and it's solvable. I guess I'm just like my brother, Dan: my mom said with their daughter Evie (who had acid reflux), he had a hard time because he wanted a solution. He's a solver. And sometimes babies just cry-sometimes there's no thing to solve. But in THEIR case there was-with strong enough medicine, she was a totally different baby.

So am I just a whiner??

Wow now I feel really discouraged. Sorry for the downer post-I guess I just needed to vent.

I think the hardest thing about being a mom for me is I want to do it right, but there isn't necessarily a right and a wrong. I mean obviously abuse is wrong and to feed them is right, but other than that...who knows?

oi.

Oh for the days when Jori is 3 or 4 months old, and has grown out of most of her newborn fussiness! *sigh.*

mushroom soup

So much for my more frequent blogging. This is why my blogs are so long! I have so many things I want to mention, I have to make them long!

My little brother entered the MTC almost a month ago now. It was weird and hard saying good bye to him, but I'm excited at the change I can already see through his letters. He's a great kid-

he's going to be a great missionary. He'll be serving in Cebu, Philippines after his stint in the MTC.

We also got to go to the cabin two weeks ago, for a nice break. My parents, my brother Ike and his family, and my uncle and his family were there along with us. We had a great time-Sam got to go fishing, which he enjoys; we went for a walk down to the pond, which I enjoy; we played horseshoes; Sam played the bagpipes; we played games; watched 'UP'; and generally had a great time. The only hard part was not having Jori's crib! My parents were kind enough to bring up a Pack n' Play we could use, and really Jori did quite well for being away from home-but I still got very little sleep the first night. It made me see the appeal of not really having many vacations for moms of newborns. Anyway...

We WEREN'T planning on our next trip, until three hours before leaving. But we decided to go up to Franklin, Idaho and stay with Sam's parents for the week, so he could work for his dad a bit, with this break in school (he works on campus). We had a lot of fun up there! Sam got to do some landscaping, which he enjoys much more than sitting at a desk doing nothing; I got some reading done and discovered a new hold that Jori likes (I think it's called the football hold? This one's nice because it leaves one hand free-most of the time she requires both hands); we went and got some yummy ice cream at Casper's; and probably the highlight was we went to the

Cache County Fair and Rodeo!! I had no idea I'd have so much fun, seriously. Oh and I wish I had brought like a hundred dollars-they had a few jewelry and clothes booths that I could have spent tons on, let me tell ya!

Now we're back home, preparing for school. Oi. As of right now, it's looking like Sam and I will both be full-time students, and Sam will be working part time as well. It'll be an adventure! We'll be passing off Jori like a frisbee. It's nice both my parents work on campus-they've said they'd both be happy to watch her if we need. I'm nervous, but also the teensiest bit excited: whenever I've seen little families on campus, I love it. :) Now I get to be part of one myself!

One step at a time...

So I have no idea how mama's of newborns get ready in the morning. Seriously. Jori doesn't like to be set down too much while she's awake-sometimes she'll be a trooper, others not. She WILL let us put her down when she's asleep during the day without much fuss, and sometimes even before she's asleep but about to fall asleep. During the day. Night time is harder for her, at least at bedtime.

Anyway so here's my report for the day: I took a shower AND did my hair when it was just Jori and I home today!! Woo hoo!! She was so good-I just brought her bouncer into the bathroom, and when she was fussing she decided she would take her pacifier (SCORE! I think it helps calm her a lot, when she will accept it. But she doesn't often want to accept it) and she lightly slept while I bathed. I did have to do half my hair like 45 minutes later but STILL!!! When Sam got home at noon, I was showered and clothed! Progress!

I also am still learning how to nurse and change her in public. The first time I tried to change her in public was last Tuesday, and it was quite the fiasco:

Sam and I were out running an errand, and it was time for her to eat. She was still asleep so I woke her up, fed her on one side and decided I'd change her before feeding her on the other. Sam was there to help me stay covered while nursing, but obviously when I took her into a nearby women's restroom I was flying solo.

She was acting pretty calm, so I thought "no problem, I got this." I eased off her diaper and foom! Immediately a steady flow of water erupts from my baby's downstairs. Yikes! I grabbed her and half lifted her quickly, as we always do when she does this to try to save her clothes from getting all peed on.

Then she started crying. Duh.

So I was trying to sponge up the liquid with her wet wipes (and failing), when she decides she's not done and ALSO poops all over.

Oh boy.

Poor Jori was screaming at this point, and I was completely stuck. I couldn't set her down without making her lay in her own filth, but I couldn't really pick her up without getting it all over MY clothes either. And those wet wipes were NOT working!

Finally I just grabbed a wet wipe, stuck it under her bum and was able to at least semi-hold her so I could move toward the paper towels. I was relieved I'd thought of a solution.

But this was one of those stupid automatic paper towel dispensers, and it would not activate! So I was holding this poor half-naked screaming infant with a wet wipe under her bum, frantically waving my hand in front of this dispenser and almost yelling at the little light on it to turn red! Turn red! Arg!

Finally, one paper towel dispensed, so I gratefully grabbed it and took her back over.

But that was retarded-how much can one paper towel absorb?

And THIS is where an angel from above appeared.

This nice lady walked in, cheerfully said hello on her way to the Lou, then turned back and asked if I needed any help. I gratefully accepted and said I needed paper towels, which she quickly acquired for me. So I was finally able to sponge up Jori's waste, get a new, dry diaper on her cold little body, put everything away and wrap up my distressed newborn in a blanket.

Thank goodness for anonymous angels in our midst! I have no idea what I would have done without her. Probably started crying.

Garden, haircut, tortillas, outings and maternity pics

So obviously my life is revolving around our little one right now, but it's also made me a bit stir-crazy. So I resolved to think of at least one thing I can do each day that I feel is report-worthy. We'll see how it goes.

First! Our garden! I talked about it before, didn't I? Well here are some pics of everything:

Carrots growing in nicely here;
Here's some of the peas and the watermelon plants growing next to it;
Look at our summer squash coming in!!
Overall. Ta-da!!! From left to right, we're growing: corn, canteloupe, watermelon, peas, squash, cucumbers, carrots, more peas and more cucumbers. I'm really proud of this garden, though I shouldn't be-Sam's done almost all the work really. But still! It makes me happy.
Second: my haircut. I went to get it cut at this place called Craig's Cuts in Provo on Wednesday (they have $5 wednesdays) and was only going to get a trim basically...but I went a bit shorter. You can see how much by comparing my maternity pics to now. It's kind of fun! But I also a little bit miss the length. But that's ok-I guess that always happens, doesn't it?

Third: we made corn tortillas from scratch on Sunday. I LOVE cooking with my Sam-he's a good cook anyway, and it's something we've done since we were dating. So I do it as often as I can really.


Fourth: outings! We went to the Bicentennial Park in Provo on Thursday and friday, and last Saturday we went to a Scottish festival in Payson. We had a lot of fun at both-though at the park Thursday we were trying to push the stroller on this rickety boardwalk and Jori's head was bobbling all over the place. But she didn't stir! Some of the park was gross, but some was really beautiful.
Hello, toad. Next to litter. It wouldn't stir-we even threw dirt clods at it and nothing.
THIS part was more enjoyable

Hello sleepyhello hot bagpiper
Just like at the park, Jori slept through the whole Scottish festival. We were afraid it'd be too loud for her but if it was, she sure didn't show it! We had fun watching events and bagpiping, looking at all the things for sale and eating some yummy frozen yogurt.


I think Sam looks like Captain America in this picture:

Finally, here's the maternity pics I chose:

the end