Baby books and I...

...have a love/hate relationship.

When Jori was...like a week or two old, I scurried to the Provo City Library and checked out all these books on having a baby, how to care for babies, how to calm fussy ones, and how to get them to sleep. The books have included "On Becoming Babywise," "The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight," "What to Expect: the First Year," "The Baby Sleep Solution: A Proven Program to Teach Your Baby to Sleep Twelve Hours a Night," and "the Happiest Baby on the Block" (which I didn't read, but instead later checked out the DVD and watched it. I also have heard of and watched a few youtube videos about the 'Dunstan Baby Language,' which is claiming newborns basically have 5 words and we can learn to recognize them so we know what they need.

What has this made me?

FRUSTRATED!!

I read them and feel calm and knowledgable. Then I try to apply their concepts and get nowhere. Which could mean they just don't work, or I'm not doing them right.

arg.

Honest, I'd LIKE to have Jori on a real schedule. And I'd LOVE her to be able to sleep through the night. But I have no idea how to make it all work.

Maybe it's because she has acid reflux? I don't know.

Have I talked about that? We think she may have acid reflux, but aren't positive. We did get her on some medicine, but I'm not sure if it makes a difference. Here's why we think she may:

• she spits up A LOT
• she doesn't like being put down. This may be getting better though? because sometimes she'll let us for a little while, sometimes she won't. my days blend together so who knows.
• she often cries after eating-but not forever, I can usually calm her, so again who knows
• sometimes after she's been calm, she makes a noise like something's in her throat, then starts crying really loud
• she toots a lot. maybe that's nothing, but i think it could reflect tummy troubles.

the problem is, I may just be seeing what I want to see, ya know? It could be that she's just normal, but because she's my first and I find having a newborn to be very hard, I'm hoping she has acid reflux because that would mean there's a cause for it and it's solvable. I guess I'm just like my brother, Dan: my mom said with their daughter Evie (who had acid reflux), he had a hard time because he wanted a solution. He's a solver. And sometimes babies just cry-sometimes there's no thing to solve. But in THEIR case there was-with strong enough medicine, she was a totally different baby.

So am I just a whiner??

Wow now I feel really discouraged. Sorry for the downer post-I guess I just needed to vent.

I think the hardest thing about being a mom for me is I want to do it right, but there isn't necessarily a right and a wrong. I mean obviously abuse is wrong and to feed them is right, but other than that...who knows?

oi.

Oh for the days when Jori is 3 or 4 months old, and has grown out of most of her newborn fussiness! *sigh.*

mushroom soup

So much for my more frequent blogging. This is why my blogs are so long! I have so many things I want to mention, I have to make them long!

My little brother entered the MTC almost a month ago now. It was weird and hard saying good bye to him, but I'm excited at the change I can already see through his letters. He's a great kid-

he's going to be a great missionary. He'll be serving in Cebu, Philippines after his stint in the MTC.

We also got to go to the cabin two weeks ago, for a nice break. My parents, my brother Ike and his family, and my uncle and his family were there along with us. We had a great time-Sam got to go fishing, which he enjoys; we went for a walk down to the pond, which I enjoy; we played horseshoes; Sam played the bagpipes; we played games; watched 'UP'; and generally had a great time. The only hard part was not having Jori's crib! My parents were kind enough to bring up a Pack n' Play we could use, and really Jori did quite well for being away from home-but I still got very little sleep the first night. It made me see the appeal of not really having many vacations for moms of newborns. Anyway...

We WEREN'T planning on our next trip, until three hours before leaving. But we decided to go up to Franklin, Idaho and stay with Sam's parents for the week, so he could work for his dad a bit, with this break in school (he works on campus). We had a lot of fun up there! Sam got to do some landscaping, which he enjoys much more than sitting at a desk doing nothing; I got some reading done and discovered a new hold that Jori likes (I think it's called the football hold? This one's nice because it leaves one hand free-most of the time she requires both hands); we went and got some yummy ice cream at Casper's; and probably the highlight was we went to the

Cache County Fair and Rodeo!! I had no idea I'd have so much fun, seriously. Oh and I wish I had brought like a hundred dollars-they had a few jewelry and clothes booths that I could have spent tons on, let me tell ya!

Now we're back home, preparing for school. Oi. As of right now, it's looking like Sam and I will both be full-time students, and Sam will be working part time as well. It'll be an adventure! We'll be passing off Jori like a frisbee. It's nice both my parents work on campus-they've said they'd both be happy to watch her if we need. I'm nervous, but also the teensiest bit excited: whenever I've seen little families on campus, I love it. :) Now I get to be part of one myself!