What's in Your Mind, When You're in Labor?

This third trimester was probably my roughest yet. Mainly because I had these excruciating pains deep in my left bum cheek, that I couldn't make go away that would come on and I'd just have to sit and wait for them to pass. So those, along with false labor pains three weeks before my due date, made me pretty ready to rumble just about every day of the last three weeks I was pregnant. Here's a decent idea of my thoughts on the actual day.

4:00 A.M. Whoa, that was a pretty bad one. Maybe today really is the day! Don't get hopes up, though. 

4:15 A.M. Ow. Yeah, that's something. 

7:30 A.M. (Making waffles) Mmmmm I'm going to eat so many waffles...ow ow ow. That's three in a row. I guess we aren't going to that baby blessing after all.

8:00 A.M. Gotta shower, shave, actually style my hair today. It's baby day! I think. It's been half an hour. 

[I was intent on doing what the doctor said, which was wait till they're coming every 3-5 minutes for an hour. But...that wasn't how it was going to be this time, it seemed.]

8:25 A.M. OOOOWWWW. OW. Why do people go natural?! I hate this. 

10:50 A.M. I always try to imagine people who are speeding have a wife in labor. And here we are, driving, when I'm actually in labor! But if Sam takes that turn fast I might scream, because the last thing I want in this physical state is to have my body jerked around. But I swear it'd be unintentional at least.

10:55 Huh. Look at that. The unintentional scream came anyway. 

11:00 A.M. (Arrive at my parents' house) Yeah, we'll probably just stay for like 20 minutes and then head to the hospital. 

11:30 A.M. I haven't had a contraction in half an hour...oh there it is. 

11:36 A.M. (Contraction) I got this. 

12:00 P.M. OWWWW! That's just unfair! I'm in labor, the bum pains should stop! 

[Those deep bum pains were worse than the contractions, but when they would come WHILE I was in labor, they would lead to a contraction. It was lovely.]

12:25 P.M. Seriously baby...make up your mind. 

12:50 P.M. Well we're just sitting here, might as well go to church and get to take the sacrament. 

12:55 P.M. (Walking to church) there's one. 

1:00 P.M. There's one.

1:05 P.M. There's one. These aren't anything, though...

1:30 P.M. OH MY GOSH. I'm dying. I'm going to die in church. And yet...I wonder how this looks to the bishopric? That's got to be a bit unnerving. They have no idea why I suddenly tensed up and am grimacing horribly, panting. Hee hee. 

1:50 P.M. Can I have my bum removed? Is that a thing? This is agony. 

1:55 P.M. Ow. Ow ow ow. We've only got five more minutes though, might as well stay.

2:00 P.M. Okay for sure today is baby day. Yeeshhhh. 

2:05-3:05 Yay, they're finally...sevenish minutes apart this whole hour! Hurry! Eat something! Even though I don't want food, all I could think of when Atticus was finally being delivered was how hungry I was. Not this time! 

3:30 (Arrive at hospital) I don't want a wheelchair...should I pretend I do? The bum pains are worse then. I'm going to be embarrassed if I haven't progressed at all and we do have to go home again.

3:35 Oh, I'm 6 1/2 cm dialated and 100% effaced. Okay. I'm not crazy. Why did we wait so long? 

3:43 Okay I know they numbed it, but I still had the feeling of metal against bone with that epidural. Dang that's freaky. Blegh. 

3:50 Epidurals are like sunshine and rainbows. This is glorious. Look at that contraction on that screen. I felt none of that. Maybe I'll catch up on some texts. 

4:20 Wait what? The doctor's already here? Oh, water breaking time, right. Wait I'm already at an 8?

4:43 Whoa, I'm at a 10? It's time to push?! How did that happen, we've only been here an hour! This is not how my body has babies. This is fake.

4:44 I've only pushed twice, how can the baby almost be out?! 

At this point I started laughing at the absurdity of it all. And then my doctor said 'You're going to laugh the baby out,' which made me laugh harder...and then I did! Our youngest little miss came out while I was laughing. Those laughs quickly lead to happy tears, which shouldn't surprise those who know me too much. 

Baby girl was a petite 6 lbs 1 oz. and 17" long, even though she was only four days early. Little thing!

And a bit over 24 hours later, we'd narrowed down her name from Genevieve, Imogene, Willow and Juliet to Willow Marie, and were able to go home. I didn't need any stitches down below this time, so didn't want to dilly dally in the hospital any longer than was necessary. 

We sure love this little gal!