I want to write these down, because the details are fading from my memory and I don't want them to disappear completely without a trace.
Sometimes certain things really strike me as truth. Like "That's it." A light bulb, a-HA moment if you will. I know everyone has these. It can be listening to others speak, it can just be pondering things on your own and suddenly something makes sense. Well I wanted to share three that I really liked, before I forget them again.
The first was the longest ago. Maybe three or four years. I think it's when Sam and I were living in my parent's ward. We were in sacrament meeting. I can't remember if it was a talk given...I think it was. I'll say woman A was telling us about this, in a talk.
Here's the mottled, general idea: this woman (woman B), in a different sacrament meeting, had either been speaking or listening to someone else speak...I can't remember which. But she felt drawn to this other woman (woman C) in the meeting. (Either the one that was speaking, or someone in the congregation who was crying as she spoke.) Somehow she figured out that...I can't remember if this family had just moved somewhere, I don't think that's what it was. But there had been black mold all over most of their possessions. Is that the dangerous kind? The dangerous kind. Once it'd been discovered, they had to get rid of just about everything.
I think there was something else to it too, like the breadwinner of this C family was out of work or...you know. Something sad.
Anyway woman B? She felt strongly that she should just, give woman C most of her furniture. She didn't go buy her some, she gave the family her own. (I think she was an empty nester herself, and woman C had kids at home.) So she took, straight out of her living room, all these couches and end tables...I think it went so far as emptying extra bedrooms of most of their furniture as well, and the kitchen table.
I can't remember the details! But here's the thing: she didn't buy new furniture for like, over a year. She and her husband just went without. I don't even think they had to, monetarily; they just did. I think they had a few folding chairs but not much else.
So woman A, telling the congregation I was a part of about this story, was a relative of woman B. And she said woman B didn't tell anyone about this, didn't seek recognition for her generous act. In fact, they had a family gathering to celebrate something at woman B's house. And the family, upon seeing there was almost no furniture in the home, asked her about it and were (understandably) quite surprised. They mostly ate on the floor, or found camping chairs or boxes or odd things to sit on. But woman B wasn't embarrassed or anything, and she basically said something along the lines of "oh, we don't need it" in response.
I LOVE this. I think I've mentioned my love/hate relationship with pinterest, because I love the idea of making a home beautiful with limited funds and some elbow grease, but I hate that it's made me self conscious about the way my own house may appear to others. And in this story, the woman's not only willingness to give of what she possessed, but also her lack of embarrassment! SHE knew what mattered. SHE was truly living as Christ would have lived.
Story #2: This I heard in a Relief Society meeting, when I was attending church at my brother Nate's ward when they were living in Provo. Again, it's a bit fuzzy...this one was more like a year ago though. And it's shorter anyway. So hopefully with it being heard more recently and it's length, you'll get the general gist.
I can't remember if the woman sharing this comment was the recipient or the one giving...but a woman, around 30, stood up and told of this woman in the ward (herself or her visiting teacher, I can't recall which) who had felt prompted to take dinner to her visiting teachee's house. And she felt flustered and embarrassed, cause she wasn't prepared for such, but she humbly took over a frozen pizza (still frozen) at about 7:00. When they answered the door, she was all apologies; she knew they had young kids and eating dinner after 7:00 can be super late for young kids, and all it was was a frozen pizza and she wished she had something more impressive to offer. Etc. Etc. But they were SO grateful for it!
I like this story for a similar reason: sometimes, I feel like I only will have worth if I do things that are impressive. That's a lot of different feelings summed up in a nutshell, I think. If I dress the best, if my kids are the best behaved, if I do the best crafts with them, if I am the most social (totally not my nature), if I have the most beautiful house, if I cook the most exquisitely.
In my mind I am PASSIONATE about people understanding that their worth is not something they earn, or that can be taken away by their or others' actions; it is God-given, and not going anywhere. But it is one thing to say such, to even feel such some of the time...and to keep it in mind when feelings of inferiority sneak in without me realizing it.
So I am, through and through, the pizza woman. I basically never am on top of things. (I was finally showered and dressed at 11:15 today, for example. My hair dried by 11:30. But it's dried! That's impressive for me!) I'm forgetful and have a hard time with ranking priorities. But I love that this story makes me feel like: I don't have to be the best cook! Or the best anything! My less-than-perfect offering is still one worth making. (I talked about this in my last lesson, just that last line...funny how I can forget to internalize well these things I so desperately want my girls to understand.) And I think, as time goes on, I'll hopefully grow to be better at some of the things I wish to be better at...but it won't be because of guilt or shame. Because as I am is worthwhile, too. Currently.
Story #3 isn't even a story, and it isn't really the same message as the first two. It was just a couple lines, uttered a couple of months ago, by a woman in my ward. She has such a soothing voice, let me tell ya. It's a pleasure to hear her speak, honestly. But that's beside the point: she started off her talk with a story about washing the dishes as a young mother (she's now in her forties I think, with grown children) with her baby playing at her feet. And this wasn't the point of the story but she said something to this effect, in passing, about washing dishes, "It's something I used to hate, but learned to love to do."
She didn't say this proudly; in fact, it wasn't even her point. (The point she did make with the story, which was about following the Spirit, was excellent as well, btw.) But this stuck out to me because, how often do I view things this way? Learning to love to do the things I currently hate doing, that I consider necessary? How often do I even TRY to adopt this? I do try to get better at the things I hate doing, I think; but do I really try to love them? I don't know. Did she? With persistent effort and a determination not to view it in a negative light anymore?
Sometimes messages kind of like this can make me feel bad, like "Great, I have TWO steps further to go. I not only need to get good at it, I need to get good at it and then LIKE it. Oi vey."
But this one didn't. Perhaps it was the gentility of the speaker, or the lack of judgment in the delivery of the message. Or something else. Whatever the reason, I was grateful to have that to think on. Learning to love washing dishes.
The Hatch Clan: Where Babies Wear White Tuxedos
