It's been interesting, being pregnant with a third. I honestly thought in some ways it wouldn't be that exciting. Maybe part of this is because I have a boy and a girl, so it seemed I'd hit what many seem to hope for. One of each!
I was surprised, and delighted, to discover that hasn't been how it is at all. Maybe I had a spell at the beginning where it wasn't that exciting, and I wasn't loving feeling sick really early this time...but I got an ultrasound where they dated me at six weeks, five days. And already, that little sea monkey had a heartbeat.
I wish I could describe sufficiently the joy this knowledge brought on. It's weird, seriously. The thing is minuscule at that point. And what am I fussing about, I already have kids. But it really hit me then. "I really am growing a baby."
There is something truly magnificent about a human life, I think. Thrilling. Miraculous. Bizarre. I mean how the heck?! How would you describe making a human child, if it were in terms of a cookbook.
Need:
1 egg
1 sperm
Directions:
Mix well; leave to rise for 9 months. Enjoy your HUMAN BEING!
It boggles my mind, that after I just go about life doing whatever, albeit slightly differently (nausea, exhaustion, discomfort blah blah) afterward a person comes out. With their own eyes, and nose, and stomach and liver and heart and brain and personality.
I know lots of people don't believe in a God, and that's their choice. But I hope they still feel the miracle, feel how astounding and incredible, this is. Life. Because it really just fills me with wonder. And...warm fuzzies.
So when I've told people I didn't find out the gender of this one, even though I could have at 16 weeks, they tell me "I guess you've got one of each!" As if why would I care? Same old, same old. I already have a boy and a girl, this one's just kind of a bonus. And I mumble agreement, hesitantly.
Really though...I can't wait for my 21 week ultrasound next Wednesday. (I didn't have one five weeks ago cause I'm cheap, and didn't want to pay the out of pocket for a Gender Check Ultrasound, not because I don't care.)
Seriously. I can't wait to find out everything I can about him/her. I love hearing it's heartbeat every OBGYN appointment I go to. I love the new feeling I've had, of it moving around. I love ticking off every week on my calendar, to the 24 week point mainly, because I've always had a sense of peace at this point (that being the age where babies have survived outside of the womb). And I love, more than knowing the gender, knowing that everything is developing as it should and my baby is okay. Because man. I want this baby to be okay.
I am PUMPED to have a third child. It doesn't mean less because there are others who've come before it; it matters because it has it's own worth, independent of where it falls in a family line up or how many of its gender has come before (or may come after).
So yeah, it's my third. But it's still amazing.
