The Hatch Clan: Where Babies Wear White Tuxedos

The Hatch Clan: Where Babies Wear White Tuxedos

Sunday, August 16, 2015

What I'd tell 16 year old Ariel, now.

A friend of mine just posted what she'd try to tell herself, if she could go back to herself 10 years ago. I thought this was a fun idea...it's hard, though. There are mistakes I wish I could prevent, and yet a lot of those lead to important things. I wouldn't want to drastically change that much...but some things I suppose would be nice. So here's what I'd probably say:

Girl, you are a daughter of God. Do you know how important that is? How worthwhile that makes you? You don't have to prove anything more to anyone, about being interesting enough or attractive enough. That's plenty.


Enjoy dating. Don't stress about it! Don't worry about compatibility or crushes too much (though I know this is easier said then done), but just try to have fun activities. Be brave, you can ask guys out even if it isn't girl's choice dances! It can all be in good fun. And remember: the worse the date, the better the story it'll make someday. :) Be FEARLESS. (But not unwise, don't go out with guys that don't have your same standards.)

Go to Adam's wrestling matches. That's just nice, friends going to each other's events to be supportive. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

I know school is hard: see a counselor about it. Explain what makes it so hard. Explain about the anxiety and the weird, self-destructive procrastination behavior and the feeling like you're going to scream if you try to do homework too early. People can help. Medicine can help. It's worth the effort.

Get in the habit of reading your scriptures every day. Please? Use a timer if you need. You'll be so much happier once this habit is established.

No more lame tv. No more Disney Channel. WASTE OF TIME. Try not to watch any tv, unless you've specifically planned ahead for that one thing. And then one episode a day is plenty.

I know it's fun to flirt and worry about who likes who...but try to develop some hobbies that have absolutely NOTHING to do with any guys, or the potential of guys being interested in you just cause you have these particular hobbies. Try to find things that you love to do that have no connection to romance. Because eventually, in a stable relationship...flirting for the sake of flirting won't seem like much of a hobby anymore. (Not to call you a ridiculous flirt, you aren't. But you'll be happier finding things you love just on their own, with no connections to others.)

Enjoy your time with Dave at home. He's a pretty great kid. Do stuff with him on Sundays.

Don't let that one friend get you down. She's just really depressed. (Not the pathological liar, the other one.) You don't have what can help her, I'm afraid. It's not worth making yourself sad over, too. And she doesn't appreciate your efforts, she resents them. So...it really doesn't make sense to make yourself unhappy about it. Enjoy her unique personality, but don't let the discouragement spread.

The grass is not really greener on the other side. Try to enjoy this time. Stop barely enduring high school: there's a lot of stuff that could be considered really interesting, if you'd let it. Take a lesson from Laura that way. School's not so bad.

I know it's hard to know what to major in, in college. You'll be discovering something you really enjoy soon. And it's great...but did you know a lot of trade schools will pretty much pay your tuition if you're still in high school? It'd be good to acquire a degree or certificate or knowledge, in something that could actually be a real job someday. Even if you don't LOVE it, if you like it enough. You can consider it a backup: but get this backup. Like, this summer.

OR...you know you love organizing. Why don't you try to 'intern' with a professional organizer during the summer? I think you'd love that. Come on now. Give it a shot.

I know you've made a commitment not to date exclusively in high school, which is a great commitment! Keep it. Also committing to not kiss someone unless you're in love with them is a good call. But I want you to make another one: no making out until you're married. Seriously. I just said that. MARRIED. It sounds ridiculous and will make you feel alone and distant in some ways, from the kids who seem to be no worse off for making out right at the age you are...but honey, this will lead to more heartache than any other mistakes you make. Because once you've let the physical in, it's hard to keep it from dominating. And it's hard not to feel really committed to someone, like you've given them your whole heart, once you reach this point. Just...please, don't. You know better. And don't let peers, now or in college, bother you about it.

Don't ever start swearing. It's okay you're proud of the limited number of times in your life you've let yourself curse. That's wonderful. Don't change it. Especially not to try to impress or seem more compatible with a guy. Who doesn't really even curse himself. Come on, sista. Don't be stupid.

Learn how to clean and cook now. Check out the books "Miserly Meals" and "Sidetracked Home Executives(TM): From Pigpen to Paradise." It'll save you some arguments and stress later on, for SURE.

Tell Rachael to stay away from Cole. STAY AWAY FROM COLE. He will end up falling away from the church and break her heart. His demons (which he won't tell her about) will come back and rule his decisions later on. You'll understand someday.

When you find yourself being pursued by two fellows named Joe and Chris...don't go out on more than two dates with either of them. And then choose Joe. [Side note I wouldn't tell her: this is because Joe and I aren't compatible, and if I'd chosen Chris I may never have met Sam.] It isn't worth the hatred you'll get from their roommates, or hurting their feelings, or the frustration you may feel toward Cecelia in the midst of these happenings.

Learn shorthand, seriously. It will make college a MILLION times easier. (I'm guessing. Since I never did...)

On top of that, take some note taking classes before you begin college. And time management.

Stop comparing your life to teens in movies. Yours is great. You have a family that loves you, good friends, you're a pretty girl and you have a good head on your shoulders. Again, don't feel like you need to be anything more than yourself. Yourself is plenty. And you'll find a great guy that recognizes it someday. (More than one, even, you lucky lady! You get to pick one.)

I love ya. Many people do. You're doing great, and you will continue to. :)