Humbled

We went to Walmart this morning, and at check out found our total to be $140. 'Whoa!' I thought. Ah well; I had bought a bit of makeup, new swimsuits for the kids, some diapers and wipes, socks, tights, and new sippy cups. I also bought a mix I could pan fry for dinner, and 2 lbs. strawberries as we were passing the grocery area.

After we had lunch at Subway, eating some of the new strawberries along with the foot long we split, we got packed into the car and were on our way.

Then we passed some beggars or 'panhandlers.'

I'm somewhat embarrassed to say, I almost never stop for them. In fact, I've done almost the opposite many times, avoiding eye contact and even locking the doors a couple times.

I hear about all sorts of stories of people that actually make quite a lot of money doing what they're doing, and how they're made out to be villains because they're begging. Here is an article about panhandling in Utah, and you can see in the comments how most people feel about it...

...but this time, it wasn't just a single man or a man and woman, it was a man, his (very) pregnant wife and two small children. The daughter looked to be about Jori's age, and the son about a year younger. They were at a van, with Calfornia license plates on it. Their sign said "Please help, need food and gas." Or something like that. The man was holding the sign, and truly looked ashamed. He was staring at the ground. I would guess they were of Indian descent. (Not Native American, India Indian.)

I drove past them at first...then had a feeling that I was missing out on a teaching opportunity. So I turned back, told Jori what was happening and ran the strawberries (minus the ones we had eaten) over to them.

It was truly humbling. The kids started talking at once, excitedly, as soon as they saw the strawberries. And as I drove past, afterward, I saw the wife already eating some. I just felt...just floored. I had just spent all this money, on things that are worthwhile but...I mean how far could $140 go to someone in a truly desperate situation?

I still felt like I hadn't done enough though. I'd told Jori we were going to give some food to people in need, but she hadn't really seen it from where I'd parked.

So I flipped around AGAIN, and this time got Atticus and Jori out, each with a $5 bill in their hands. We walked over together, and gave the money to the wife and one of the kids. Each of the little ones were also eating strawberries, and looked like they'd eaten a fair number in the three minutes it took me to get back to them again.

I know there are a lot of dishonest people who ask for money out there, and that there are a lot that have addictions and even criminal histories. I know a lot of people lie. But I didn't ask this family their story; there was no need. I really don't need to know what exactly they do with that ten dollars.

Really, I just felt profoundly grateful to do something that felt really right, and with my children. It made me hope to continue to give. Even if the money is used for drugs. I read in a YA Fiction book one time, of this young man giving money to a younger man, and the girl he was with said "Why did you do that? He's only going to use it for drugs." And he said "That means he's one step closer to hitting rock bottom, which is necessary before he can start climbing up."

Also, even if the people do have criminal histories. Must be hard to get a job with a criminal history, don't you think?

And ESPECIALLY if they do have kids there with them. I do know it's manipulative to have children there, I know some people really hate that. But whether you agree with the parents, the children are real. The situation must be pretty desperate if they are being used to ask for money.

Grateful to be able to give, today.